Navigating Change with RAFT: A Guide to Intentional Transitions
Change is one of life’s few certainties. Whether it’s a new job, a move to a different city, a shift in relationships, or an unexpected life transition, navigating change can be both exciting and overwhelming. While some transitions come with a sense of adventure, others bring uncertainty and emotional weight. Regardless of the circumstances, having a framework to process these changes can make all the difference.
As a military spouse, I’ve experienced firsthand the challenges that come with frequent moves, goodbyes, and starting over in new places. The constant cycle of change can be difficult, but I’ve also learned that approaching transitions with intentionality can make them more meaningful and manageable. David Pollock, a renowned expert in global transitions, developed the RAFT framework as a structured way to help individuals—especially Third Culture Kids (TCKs) and expatriates—navigate life changes. But this approach can certainly be applied to any transition, whether it’s a career change, a big move, or a personal shift in life circumstances.
His approach emphasizes that successful transitions involve not just logistical preparations but also emotional and relational closure. By following the RAFT model, individuals can leave well and arrive well, reducing the emotional toll of transitions and fostering a healthier adjustment to new environments. I was introduced to this helpful framework when I worked as a social emotional counselor at an international school and found it immensely helpful.
RAFT stands for:
Reconciliation: Making peace with people and experiences
Affirmation: Expressing gratitude to those who have impacted us
Farewell: Saying intentional goodbyes to people, places, and things
Think Destination: Looking ahead to what’s next
Henri Nouwen once wrote, “I do not yet know what I carry in my heart, but I trust it will emerge as I write.” Together, let’s explore how journaling through RAFT can support emotional well-being during times of change.
Reconciliation: Making Peace with the Past
Before moving forward, it’s important to address any unresolved experiences. Consider:
Who in your life do you need to make peace with? Do you need to apologize, repair a relationship, or set a boundary? What would that look like?
Reflect on past experiences that didn’t go as expected. Anything that really left you feeling hurt, misunderstood, or disappointed? What was your experience like? How would you like to acknowledge that experience? Would it help to create a ritual for closure?
Practice self-compassion. How can you acknowledge and validate your feelings? What lessons did you learn from these experiences?
If an apology is needed, take time to craft a sincere one. You might find these nine essential ingredients of a true apology helpful.
Writing about these reflections can lighten emotional burdens and create space for healing.
Affirmation: Expressing Gratitude
Acknowledging those who have made an impact on us strengthens our relationships and offers a sense of closure. Consider:
Who has had a big impact on you? Who has made your current location feel like home?
What specific things have they done that were meaningful to you?
How would you like to express your gratitude? Some ideas include writing a heartfelt letter, sending a video message, or having a meaningful conversation in person.
Gratitude not only honors the people who have supported us but also helps us carry their positive influence into the next chapter of our lives.
Farewell: Saying Goodbye with Intention
Goodbyes are both a moment and a process. Taking time to say proper farewells can bring a sense of closure and ease the transition.
Make a list of the people, places, pets, and possessions that are important to you.
Plan how you’d like to say goodbye—through letters, photographs, farewell gatherings, or creating keepsakes.
Reflect on why saying goodbye matters. What emotions come up when you think about parting ways?
Consider these farewell reminders:
Don’t rush your goodbyes
Create a meaningful ritual
Choose a proper setting for farewells
Be specific about what you will miss
Saying goodbye doesn’t mean forgetting—it’s about honoring what has been while making space for what’s to come.
Think Destination: Looking Ahead with Hope
Change brings uncertainty, but also opportunity. Writing about your future can help ease anxiety and build excitement. Consider:
What excites you most about your new destination?
What challenges might arise, and how can you prepare for them?
Make a bucket list of places to explore and things to do in your new location or new position.
What questions do you have about your new home (or job, or school, etc)?
How do you plan to establish connections and build a sense of community there?
Envision your new routine. What elements of your current life do you want to carry forward?
By shifting the focus to possibility, writing about the future can transform apprehension into anticipation.
Closing Thoughts
Transitions are never just about logistics; they are deeply emotional experiences that shape our identities and connections. The RAFT framework, as developed by David Pollock, offers a structured yet personal way to reflect, process, and move forward with peace and intention. His emphasis on emotional and relational preparation reminds us that how we leave one chapter can greatly impact how we enter the next.
Wherever you are in your journey—whether you’re preparing to leave, in the midst of change, or settling into a new space—give yourself permission to write, reflect, and grow. Your words have the power to carry you through.
What’s your experience? I hope journaling through RAFT will give you space to reflect, process, and prepare. If I can support you as you transition, feel free to reach out!